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Sunday Rants by Val #68

#Sunday Rants…

• This Harmattan Sef

Person go shit, before You roll tissue paper finish, nyash don dry

• Sometimes I sit down and wonder whose armpit inspired the invention of roll-on.

• I don’t know who needs to hear this but you see erh, one day you’ll forget to clear your chats and you’ll be caught.

• My neighbor has two toothbrushes, one for him and the other for his girlfriends. Each of them thinks it’s her personal toothbrush.

• Did you know that some girls joined choir because they don’t have clothes to be changing every Sunday.

• Attention Please!

Ladies, My Tall handsome and hard working cousin, self employed, Single stays in Abuja.

He’s looking for a black beautiful and strong laptop bag to buy.

• Americans: Tell me why.

British: Tell me the reason.

Nigerians: Tell me the reason why.

Nigerians Why???

• I’m broke. So when I see broke people I know.

Stop forming for me.

• Some girls are really poor in romance, you hit her with pillow boom! She’s chasing you with knife.

• Did you know that when you fart and sneeze at the same time your body takes screenshot.?

• Public Announcement!

I’m selling bra, best quality from Italy. Inbox me with pictures of your boobs to select the one that best fits it. Our customers’ satisfaction is our priority.

• To all those English guru…

A mother beats up her daughter because she was drunk.

Question: Who was drunk.? Mother? Or Daughter?

• You think heartbreak hurts?

Have you bought food on credit and it fell on the floor?

• Why do women live, longer and more peaceful than men?

Answer: because women don’t have wives.

• When you get a text on your phone

Real girlfriends be like “who texted us?”

• Please my Yoruba friends. It’s INEC not “High Neck”

#Happy Sunday


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