Sunday Rants by Val #26

#Sunday Rants..

Do you know that the first Female Barber was Delilah??
Dnt argue with me, read your Bible
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Nollywood Constitution:
*Vomit inside toilet to show pregnancy
*Ghost must wear white
*Mad person must eat Agege Bread
*Die after confession

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Shout out to those single for a long time, that the only time they hear ‘boo’ is when they fart.
Boo…booo…
If you know, you know
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Dancing with a fat girl is like moving a fridge from one place to another
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She: Hello Sugar.
Me: Hi Milk…
And she blocked me, ah I thought we wanted to prepare tea
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I wonder who taught Africans the habit of slapping the remote when it’s not working
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Girls sometimes take your phone, call him, tell him you are coming over. then switch off your phone and sleep.
Let him clean his house, some guys are lazy
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Before i used to think that girls wear ‘toe-rings’ because of fashion.
Until i realized they are engaged to short guys who couldn’t reach their fingers
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Some girls will not kill me shaa.
Which one is congratulations on your engagement, more rings to your fingers✋
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WITCHCRAFT is when you stood for hours in a
queue under hot sun, just to withdraw money from the ATM and when it was finally your turn-you
noticed that you are with your voters card instead of your ATM CARD
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Qstn: Your Dad was arrested, you won 25 million and police requested 24 million for his bail. Will you bail him?
Me: Nelson Mandela went to Prison and became the president, I am not tampering with my Dad’s destiny.😡
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Timaya -plantain seller. Don jazzy akamu seller.
Olamide- was just a shoe maker.
Patoranking- Rat poison seller.
Olajumoke -Bread Seller. Efe -tomatoes seller. Runtown roundabout boy.
Duncan mighty -soap/ pepper seller.
Waconzy- Okada rider.
All now millionaires.
Father Lord What do u want me to sell Ur son is listening!
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That joy of rejecting a
beautiful girl who thinks
everyone want her
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Sleeping without money in your pocket can be very risky. What if you find your self inside taxi, how will you pay?
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I just saw a tricycle(keke Napep) With an inscription ‘#Trust_no_woman’
I have a feeling that the guy once had a Range_rover.
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Me spraying my perfume ” fu…fu…fu’
Me spraying my roommate’s own
“fuuuuuu….fuuuu…faaaa…fuuuu…faaaa..’