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VAL: Sunday Rants #78 (Comedy)

Sunday Rants…

β€’ I feel like sharing airtime.
But everyone here is wealthy, so no need.🌚

β€’ We are lucky we are in 2020, imagine if this lockdown happened in 2005, chilling the whole month in your house with Nokia 3310. Busy playing snake xenzia.🀣😩

β€’ Between UCL and School which one do you want to resume??
Be honest I will not tell your mummy.🌚

β€’ I can’t imagine a girlfriend I can’t be speaking Igbo with.
I mean how do I say “Baby I kpofego m” in English??πŸ˜ŒπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

β€’ The people that were owing Lazarus, I wonder how they felt when Jesus raised him from Death.πŸ˜…

β€’ Ordinary feel at home.
You don piss for my bed.

β€’ Girls shaa…
She saved my number with “Hmm” on her phone and told me it’s an acronym for “He’s my man” 😹😸

β€’ Some people are using nose mask to hide from people they’re owing.πŸ€ͺ

β€’ Girls from rich homes who fall in love with broke guys una never see me?😒

β€’ I have finally decided to settle down.
Where is my seat?

β€’ Bae…fine girl…
I know you can twerk but can you cook egusi soup?😏

β€’ Covid 19,symptoms are basically the same feeling some girls get when their boyfriend is checking their phone…
Difficulty in breathing, sweating, weakness,
headache and when he ask “who is John??”
Dry cough don start be that.πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚

β€’ How old where you when you realized that NCDC means
New Case Don Come?πŸ™ƒ

β€’ E don happen oooo. Wife call police to arrest her husband’s side chick. Police reach there, the side chick na DPO wife.
Dem still dey dia sha!πŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

β€’ I don’t know who needs to hear this but…
Sister allow someone to love you, you’re getting old.😎

Happy Sunday


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