IKISE: Poetry Friday Line 45: THE AMBIANCE OF LOVE!


Alone in my  Island of feelings
Thinking about you in no second interval
It dawns on me the memory of the last noon
When I wished I could command the sun to stand still
The moon never to plan its coming
And the night never to fall…
Funny how I regretted the atmosphere of that day
After I had earlier appreciated it
Its deception took me unware 
The favourable weather told me we had more hours
When seconds were remaining
Then I realized I had disappointed myself
Because a whole lot of things were in my mind
But I had given time to the reason of the day
Than I gave to the reason for the day
Then in my rush to satisfy my innate desires
Came the offense I committed…
I saw in your eyes the despiration to help
But nature was sternly rebuking you
Nothing seemed important to me at that moment
The thought of living with the innocent you forever filled my heart
I stared at  you once and again and became speechless
Salivating over every element of you 
“Tell me what you want…” became your slogan
But I was too shy to ask for even a hug
‘Cause I felt that would’ve been too common from someone like you
Asking for a kiss also was difficult
‘Cause I felt that would’ve been too much to be asked for…
Then struggling to break the silence became my next ambition
Leaving my mouth with a very light tongue but heavy lips
There came the warning bell when I was yet to start
My heart was beating as though it had offended the owner
And you still ignorantly asked why I was vibrating
‘Cause you could hear my stimulating heart loud and clear
My blood was turbulently running through my veins
And you voiced out that I was making you unease 
‘Cause you could feel the impulsive movement all over me
Leaning and resting on me that moment too became risky to you
Then in my haste to cover up everything, I exposed more
I even got angry with myself
But you interpreted it as though I was angry with you…
Meanwhile it was the fear of letting you go untouched
That overwhelmed me and left me restless before you
Even the imagination of myself as not a man
Tortured me and explained to me as though I wasn’t functioning
Leaving me with a more desire to complete the mission I knew was quite nasty
I took an oath I knew would backfire
I pretended as though nothing was wrong 
Even when I knew everything was wrong
“Why don’t we just take off my garment at once…?”
Became the serious question you asked jokingly in disappointment
…That very time I hated the open field we sat in
I hated the night for not rushing to my help
I prayed for sudden darkness to cover us up as though I was evil
I almost cursed the tree we sat under for not covering us
I was even against the weather because it deceived me
I disliked the nature I had been telling people was my best friend
…But funny how I appeared to be timid in such situation
My brain couldn’t give the answer to common one plus one again
But could recite the whole love sonnet I first read when I was just 12
And could vividly narrate the romantic story of Romeo and Juliet 

Everything seemed and appeared lovely to me
Every of my imagination pictured a scene of romance in movies I’ve watched
I wished I could air it out to you
Or even to let you know I was no longer in the same world with you
Everything became reddish to me
‘Cause I was told love symbol is always represented in red
So every piece of thing I saw connoted a lovely and romantic meaning
Even the water I was told in my chemistry lab is colourless appeared reddish
The air I was told cannot be seen nor touched formed a heart symbol
Every leaf became Rose to me
There I became the most intelligent mad man on Earth
I even became a spirit that could not pass through walls…
I looked at you again and saw love in its concrete state
So in my mind I was ready to go and question my English teacher
With the conviction that love is not an abstract noun but concrete
…Many silly things convinced me that I was a semi mad man
I could even see through your thickest coat
The darkest trouser you wore became very transparent
Even your coily hairstyle appeared an edible noodle
The deepest ocean appeared the most shallow swimming pool
So I could imagine us swimming and playing together in the Pacific…
I even wished I could stir you up into that uncontrollable atmosphere
With all the love quotes coming from the north, east, south and West…
But time failed to be considerate
And nature, my most lovely failed to be compassionate
As the final bell went just when I was about entering into the climax
Everything went down like temperature in the thermometer
And I became a mere child you could command
“Please let’s be going, it’s time!”
I looked at the road as though we were heading to the same direction
I imagined you already in my house
Even when we were yet to board our flight
The reality of everything I never believed hit me strongly
I learnt a million and hundred lessons right there in that ambiance of love
The first being that emotion is a respecter of no personality!
-Ikise Atabang 

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