Sunday Rants by Val #65

#Sunday Rants…

👉I told my girlfriend to cook “rice and beans” but she went and cooked “beans and rice”,
Me am not eating that
food.☹

👉My roommate hides her money in the Bible.
Today his money is missing and he’s accusing me of stealing his money.
I told him it might be Judas.😂🤪

👉Cardi B has tasted Nigerian roads
Cardi B has tasted Nigerian Jollof rice
Cardi B has tasted Nigerian strip clubs
Cardi B has tasted Nigerian Hotels
Cardi B has tasted Nigerian Airport
But there’s something I pray she doesn’t taste or else.🤤

👉I saved her name as ‘Keke girl’s because I met her in Keke, we later fell in love and started dating, nd I forgot to change the name. Yesterday she found out and that was how my first break up happened. Now once a girl gave me her contact I dey save am with”boo” I too dey forget.🤦🏾‍♂

👉I swear nothing is sweeter than separating two ladies fighting.
Ifyouknowyouknow😋

👉I am shy to enter 2020
because it’s my first time.🤦🏾‍♂

👉To all those who clap using the bible, please stop it.. You are hurting the Israelites and the Egyptians inside.😂

👉My Akwa ibom brothers it’s MTN not Empty hen.
🤣

👉Your girlfriend lost her Dad and she’s sitting on
your laps crying and your D is Erecting…
Don’t you have conscience?😕🧐

👉In Aba you don’t avoid potholes on the roads.
You just choose the one you like to fall in.🤓

👉No matter how you dance reach on my wedding day, you will never get 2 plates of rice, if u like kill yourself with dance.💁🏾‍♂

👉If you grab her phone and she fights for it when you guys are dating, you’re single bro.😆
Stop wasting your time.

*Karma is the most patient gangster ever.*

#Happy Sunday

#HopeunagoChurch

Val