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Sunday Rants by Val #65

#Sunday Rants…

๐Ÿ‘‰I told my girlfriend to cook “rice and beans” but she went and cooked “beans and rice”,
Me am not eating that

๐Ÿ‘‰My roommate hides her money in the Bible.
Today his money is missing and he’s accusing me of stealing his money.
I told him it might be Judas.๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคช

๐Ÿ‘‰Cardi B has tasted Nigerian roads
Cardi B has tasted Nigerian Jollof rice
Cardi B has tasted Nigerian strip clubs
Cardi B has tasted Nigerian Hotels
Cardi B has tasted Nigerian Airport
But there’s something I pray she doesn’t taste or else.๐Ÿคค

๐Ÿ‘‰I saved her name as ‘Keke girl’s because I met her in Keke, we later fell in love and started dating, nd I forgot to change the name. Yesterday she found out and that was how my first break up happened. Now once a girl gave me her contact I dey save am with”boo” I too dey forget.๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚

๐Ÿ‘‰I swear nothing is sweeter than separating two ladies fighting.

๐Ÿ‘‰I am shy to enter 2020
because it’s my first time.๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚

๐Ÿ‘‰To all those who clap using the bible, please stop it.. You are hurting the Israelites and the Egyptians inside.๐Ÿ˜‚

๐Ÿ‘‰My Akwa ibom brothers it’s MTN not Empty hen.

๐Ÿ‘‰Your girlfriend lost her Dad and she’s sitting on
your laps crying and your D is Erecting…
Don’t you have conscience?๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿง

๐Ÿ‘‰In Aba you don’t avoid potholes on the roads.
You just choose the one you like to fall in.๐Ÿค“

๐Ÿ‘‰No matter how you dance reach on my wedding day, you will never get 2 plates of rice, if u like kill yourself with dance.๐Ÿ’๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚

๐Ÿ‘‰If you grab her phone and she fights for it when you guys are dating, you’re single bro.๐Ÿ˜†
Stop wasting your time.

*Karma is the most patient gangster ever.*

#Happy Sunday



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