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Sunday Rants by Val #50

#Sunday Rants…
1. Imagine when your rent is due and BOOM, your sugar Daddy dies.
You will cry more than his Wife.
2. Who knows where to get abortion pills? My hen is pregnant for my wicked neighbor’s cock. I can’t have that idiot as my inlaw
3. In every girls inbox there’s a guy talking to
He text “Hi’ today and
Reply “Hello” tomorrow
4. So My Bro Broke Up With His Girlfriend Yesterday Because He Saw A Man Driving Her Car . We Later Investigated & Found Out It Wasn’t A Man, She Just Took Off Her Wig.
5. Watching a Movie with a kid is stressing
A kissing scene Comes on and you end up saying “come on boy.. Go and close the rain, window is getting in”
6. If smoking weed causes memory loss, why then do weed smokers never forget to smoke weed
7. A drunk man enters female’s toilet by mistake.
A woman inside screams. “This is for ladies!”
The drunk man replies holding his dick,
‘This is for ladies too.”
Honey I need to Eat Fish from the RED SEA.
Reply as the Husband!!!
9. Why is it that rich men don’t fall in church during deliverance?
Are demons meant for only poor people?
10. If he says “I will marry you when the time is right”  My sister ask him if he has ever seen a wrong time, if he has ever seen 7:67pm?
11. It’s only in adverts where you will pour
soup on your white clothes and your mother will smile because she uses OMO…try this nonsense In real life the kind hot slap you go chop eeh.
12. Women are like car number plates, if you didn’t see it well on the front view  then relax and wait for the back view
13. That moment when you are having trust
issues with your girlfriend and then she updates her Fb status “I love God” then your mind will now start telling you “It can’t be God
in heaven o, it could be Godstime or Godswill or probably Godspower….
14. Boys use the word ‘friends’ to start relationship, while girls use the word ‘friends’ to end relationship. Ifyouknwyouknw
15. I don’t feel bad when I crack joke and ppl don’t laugh….you know why??
Nigeria situations have made it difficult nd impossible for some ppl to get joke immediately it was said.
They only understand it later maybe after two weeks, they might be in the bathroom and would be like ” hehehe…That Valcee too funny o”
Surround your self with people that discuss ideas, not those that talk about people.
Happy Sunday
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