Sunday Rants by Val #37

#Sunday Rants…
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1. Pls can someone escort me back to 2018?
I forgot my girlfriend there🌚☹
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2. My roomie bought iPhone with 200k and still have the Audacity to beg me Onions.☹
I told him to download it, I hate nonsense!
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3. When am drunk I become very alert before
crossing the road.
I look left and right for cars and bikes, then I
look up for Aeroplanes and then down for
bombs, I look back for Kidnappers and after
that I walk Zigzag to
avoid bullets😁😌
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4. My fellow virgins are we doing it this 2019? or should we wait till 2020??😏
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5. Call a man a LION, (Agu)
he will be happy but call
him an ANIMAL, he gets
angry.
Abeg is lion an electronic
device?💁
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6. Dear drivers and even okada..if you approach
bumps please slow down ..our ladies are tired of returning their boobs into their bras
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7. HIV is very scary when it is in Capital letters
Look At it Now…… “hiv”
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8. H’llo friends I need a new bestie, urgently My Old Bestie is pregnant
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9. Some Nigerian police will search your phone
not seeing anything and still be like; “So u still
have this music ‘Yori yori” oya enter motor.
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10. Ah jest remember the worst beating my parents ever gave to me.
The day, I took my mum wrapper to sew cloth
for my toy and…and….. Oh Gahd! She
flog the upcoming tailor out of my life!
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11. Some girls will look like Rihanna on Facebook, Beyonce on whatsapp and Almighty Nicky minaj on instagram.
But in reality they look like Emmanuella.
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12. *Seven days make one WEEK but seven days without money make one WEAK*
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#Happy Sunday
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#HopeunagoChurch?
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#Val