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Sunday Rants by Val #51

#Sunday Rants.
1. I Am tired of this country,Imagine I bought corn yesterday and the seller begged me to cut for her.🙄🤨
2. A foolish wife slaps her husband when angry.A wise wife waits for a mosquito to perch on his cheek.Then WHAM! She kills it there.😁😎
3. You’ve dated almost 30 guys and you broke up with them because none of them understood you…Hanty sorry ooo leme ask, are you further maths ?🤔🌚
4. Me : Babe, where are you and what are you doing??
Gf : I’m at home dear, frying plantain.
Me : Oya fry one lemme hear.🌚🤤
5. How can I buy a pair of shoes for 30k and you Expect me to walk on the ground?? Abeg if you hear any sound on ur roof don’t panic na me dey waka so…..😌😎
6. I was owing MTN 5000. I broke the sim and bought another one, after registration I received a massage. ‘U AGAIN!!!’ 😆
7. I pay 80k to sleep in Sharaton hotel and you say I should not urinate on the bed….. You well at all??? 🤷🏾‍♂😏
8. Being ugly is not easy, you will snap 80 pics delete 75, Edit 5 post 1 Chai Lord have mercy am ur son ooo….🙆🏾‍♂😹
9. Sister!!..if you have flat boobs, flat yansh, and even flat tummy,  congratulations my sister your three bedroom flat is complete.😁🤓
10. Today I almost fought with conductor I was shouting I will beat him up, I will treat his fuckup, I will remove his eyes but deep down my mind I was praying let passengers separate us oo before I die and thank God they did. 🕺🏾🕺🏾🕺🏾
11.Babe: Val can I have your phone? I wantu use your calculator?
Me: Sure, its on the table over there.
Babe: Who is Cynthia?
Me: I don’t know oo, maybe it’s square root of 20 😁😂
12. Some girls will make you feel special, until you realize she talk the same way to other guys.🤨
13. If you ever feel like sleeping but sleep seems no where near your eyes, just close your eyes and count from1000 to 0 backwards. Trust me you should fell asleep before you reach zero. But if you don’t, sorry o your case pass me.🌚
14. My side chick told me to shave my bie bie, but that’s not the problem oo, the problem is that my girlfriend I mean my real girlfriend loves touching it🤤
15. What If Your Whole Life Is A Dream and You’re presently a Primary 2 student sleeping in the Class??😂🤔
*Money is the root of all evil; yes but poverty is an evil forest*
Happy Sunday
 Check out this comedy skit by Comedian Valcee 
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